Five Things To Hate About Facebook

1. Reconnecting – Finding people from the past is definitely the best part of Facebook. However, it can also be one of the site's worst attributes. Some you don't want to see or hear from. Others you find and then quickly lose. Reconnecting on Facebook is really the quintessential double-edged sword.

2. Status Updates – After checking into Facebook for a bit I have to say that I might never be able to bring myself to use Twitter. Twitter, I suppose, is really another discussion. Facebook, however, is full of people updating their status all the time, with the lamest stuff imaginable. (I have to admit, I am guilty of this!) One of my "friends" (a doctor, no less!) updates many times a day with gems like "making Sammy a grilled cheese" and "getting ready for Grey's Anatomy". Is it even possible that there are people out there who enjoy reading such minutiae?

3. Quizzes, Pokes, etc. – I just don't get it. I don't get a lot of the extras that are included on Facebook. Okay, so some of the quizzes are okay, I suppose. But most of them are wastes of time akin to junk/chain emails. One of my friends created her own Brady Bunch quiz (complete with a litany of spelling and grammar errors) the bragged about how she had scored 100%. Of course she scored highly, she made up the questions. And what is with poking and 'super' poking? Give me a friggin' break!

4. Chat – You log onto Facebook ostensibly to send out a quick reply, etc. However, moments after you've 'arrived' five people are sending you instant messages (I won't even go into detail about how much I abhor those tiny little chat windows!) that interfere with your plans for brevity AND the task you're attempting. Now, I know that chat can be disabled, but jeez!

5. People's Refusal to Use 'Old School' Email – Facebook isn't accessible where I work. Apparently I am in the minority, as it seems the masses are using while on the job. Since I can't access it during the workday, I am much more inclined to communicate using email (which is quickly becoming passé, I know!)… However, so many of my Facebook 'friends' seem to refuse to use email that isn't connected to their beloved site. It is frustrating to see email (I feel like email is my child) become the Betamax of communication right in front of my eyes.

Four Things I Love About Facebook

Here they are, in no particular order:

1. Pictures – Okay, so I am a realist. I KNOW that I am far from photogenic. I hide from cameras. I've often pondered that if I were ever to be kidnapped or murdered in a sensational way the news stations would have to use my driver's license photo. You know what, I am totally okay with that.

However, I have to admit that I really enjoy looking at other people's photos on Facebook. I like seeing the kids and families of my friends. I really enjoy looking at pictures from when I was young. Picture sharing on Facebook is definitely one of the best benefits of 'social networking', in my opinion.

2. Reconnecting – Within a day of opening my account I was 'found' by lots of old friends. It is fun, and probably would never occur without Facebook, to be able to see what people from your past are up to.

Finding old crushes, co-workers, neighbors, classmates, and friends is definitely a huge kick. It is great to find out about people who were once really important to your life. It is also great to see whether the puzzle pieces still fit together or not. I have two examples:

Sally and I were as close as two pop music loving teens could be in the late 1980s/early 1990s. She and I had the same sensibilities. We laughed at all of the same stuff, spent inordinate amounts of time together and talked almost daily. In 2009 though, the pieces just don't fit. Turns out she's morphed into a Glenn Beck loving 'birther' who has apparently swallowed the Kool Aid I've spent my life trying to flee. Sad.

On the other hand there is Dane. We were great childhood friends in grade school. We never had a fight, but lost touch when we were about twelve or so. Well, through the magic that is Facebook we've again connected. Turns out we have much more in common now than we did as kids. We talk or email almost daily and I am honored to count him among my friends.

Facebook truly is a social network and one of the aspects I love most about the site is its ability to reconnect people who've lost touch.

3. Status Updates – Sometimes these are really clever and spark thought. I like when people update their status with quotes or offer interesting information about what they're doing or where they've been. Often the comments attached to someone's status are just as interesting and thought-provoking as the original post. Lately I've seen debates about swine flu, healthcare, and even Glee that have offered insight and made me think. I like to think and I love ideas that spark intelligent discussion.

4. Universality – Facebook is everywhere. That is absolutely appealing. A friend from Italy convinced me to begin 'Facebooking' (I still hate the verb form of the site) and through the site I've been able to network with 'friends' from all over. Maybe everyone doesn't Facebook (there's that verb again!) but it sure does seem like it!

Five Morrisey Songs I Want Played At My Funeral

Disclaimer – It will seem as if I only like Morrissey's Vauxhall and I album. That is not true. I like all of his albums (and The Smith's) but I have to admit that I do LOVE Vauxhall and I. But that's just me.

 

1. First of the Gang to Die – Morrissey

    In this scenario, I am Hector. I (in this scenario) am the romantic Robin Hood figure who stole everyone's heart away. Taking my hypothetical a bit farther (further?) I have decided that I am, of course, the first of my gang to die. The funeral is an overload of sadness and grief until this song is played (since this is my fantasy maybe Moz could actually play) sensing the irony (or is it coincidence) the mood quickly changes from despair to something approaching giddiness.

 

2. Interlude – Morrissey with Siouxsie Sioux

    Not too much mystery surrounding why I would choose this song. It is beautiful, ethereal, and melancholy. It could be used as either an entrance or an exit song, lol. Maybe this should play while the mourners, one at a time, approach the casket to lay a single flower atop.

 

3. The More You Ignore Me, the Closer I Get – Morrissey

    This song is not only a favorite, it is wholly appropriate. Consider that my death has either been caused by a crazed stalker or caused by someone defending him or herself against my crazed stalking…

 

4. Now My Heart Is Full – Morrissey

    He went through life (yeah, I'm rockin' the third-person) looking to fill the cavity called his heart. Once it was finally filled he left this world (not everyone's cavity runneth over!).    

 

5. Used to be a Sweet Boy – Morrissey

    Eventually he blossomed into a sweet man.

Five (Not So) Guilty Pleasures

Okay, so no one has ever accused me of having pleasures that were guilty. Most of things I love would be considered corny and cliché by most. However, I’ve always been pretty upfront and honest about the joys of loving pop culture and all of the snickers and eye-rolls that go with that. Here, in no particular order are five things that are making me a happier dude these days:

1. Kindle
Although to me it seemed like I waited a lifetime, I guess I did jump on the Kindle bandwagon pretty quickly. Almost a year ago Oprah did a show on the Kindle and offered a $50 discount to buyers (thanks, O!). I quickly fell in love. It is so unbelievably awesome to have an entire library with me at any given time. I quickly adapted to reading electronically and honestly don’t miss much of anything about ‘real’ books. My only regret is that I don’t have the 2.0, my less-than-a-year-old Kindle already looks antiquated.

2. Tyra Banks
Of course I knew of Tyra Banks. I never really gave her any thought though, know what I mean? She was pretty and stuff, but just sort of there. In my orbit she existed in much the same way that the Snuggie does, I know what it is and that some love it, but I just don’t have much of an opinion about it myself.
Then my mother started staying with me. My mother, who is basically so afraid of the remote control that she’ll leave one channel on all day… Well, I started arriving home from the work in the middle of The Tyra Banks Show.
At first I was a bit annoyed by the drama of the show. However, a funny thing started happening after watching bits of a few episodes. I started to get it (I don’t think I’ll ever be able to get my mom’s other favorite, Nancy Grace!). Tyra is speaking to young people. She is speaking, more specifically, to young girls. It might be loud and it might not be my language, but I applaud what she’s doing. On one episode I learned all about periods (not the punctuation) as Ms. Banks demystified a once taboo subject. On another show my jaw dropped as young teen girls spoke candidly about their sexual escapades and how those exploits connected directly with their self-esteem or lack of.
I hope that Tyra’s audience is young, because her show seems like a great resource… and not just for the females, either!

3. Twizzlers
I love to eat. However, sweets aren’t really my thing. Lately, though, I’ve found myself have a love affair with Twizzlers. I never really ate them in the past. Recently I found myself alone with some… and… well, there began the romance.

4. Music from Glee
I know that everyone loves this new show (well, everyone with the exception of all of the haters) and I like it too. What I like even more though, and this one is a bit more embarrassing to admit, are the songs. They are great for driving (alone) and having ‘concerts’ (again, alone). Especially fun are the recent ‘mashups’. Singing along to those songs is really… well, gleeful.

5. Tetris
When I bought my Nintendo DS (yeah, I bought one!) I really only had one person on my mind, Mario. However, Mario has been replaced. I just can’t stop playing Tetris. Yeah, you know: Tetris. It is just SO MUCH fun.

The Pledge

I’ll soon be turning forty. That is a tough one. Sometimes the days and hours seem to just drag. Damn though, the years seem to literally fly away. When I hear an older song from say, 1988, I am not only immediately transported to another place and time, but one that seems SO recent.

For the past few years I’ve been nudged many times by many people to join one of the social networking websites. Friends waxed poetic about MySpace, then Friendster, finally Facebook. I was absolutely against it. To me those sites were created for the young, hip, and savvy. I wasn’t interested in even exploring the possibility which goes a bit against my interest in tech and gadgets.

I stayed away for a long time. Then, thanks to a great friend who lives thousands of miles away, I finally succumbed. In the spring I opened a Facebook page. In so many ways it very quickly enriched my life. People found me. Yeah, they were looking. Who knew? Certainly not me.

Friends from high school were now back in my orbit on a daily basis, even though we now live on opposite coasts. One childhood friend, a guy I probably hadn’t spoken to since we were ten started messaging me and it was as if no time had passed at all. For those renewed relationships I owe a HUGE thank you to Facebook (and to Giada!).

The weird part of the story is that about ten seconds after opening my Facebook Page I became one of the world’s worst Facebookers. Yeah, I suck at it! In fact, I don’t even really like it all that much. (That is something I don’t think you are really supposed to admit out loud).

It seems like every time I log on I am quickly inundated with little chat windows. They pop up and intercept whatever I am trying to do. Oh, and they’re SO tiny. (There’s that getting old part again!) Often, I just want to get on, do something quick and log out. However, those little pop ups make it a cat and mouse game that I am rarely ready for.

Oh, and what about the people (you know who you are) who are constantly updating their status with ridiculousness? One chick whom I “friended” constantly updates with things like, “Making Timmy a grilled cheese”, “Sorting the socks”, etc. etc. What is up with that? Are you kidding me? Those little bites if idiocy make me want to never go anywhere near the ‘Twitterverse”

All of that having been said/written, I am here today to make a pledge. I vow, just a few weeks shy of my fourth decade on this planet, to become a better Facebooker. I promise to log on more. To be more positive. To find a real picture of myself that wasn’t some newspaper stunt. I will conquer my Facebook bigotry. That is my pledge!

Lucky

Sometimes I forget how lucky I am to live in such a beautiful place. Yesterday we got a little bit of rain, which is pretty rare. Most people out this way love rain. Me? Not so much.

Today it is warm and sunny again. I took the bottom picture while standing on my classroom porch. Nice.