20 Years? For Real?

It is hard for me to believe that The Simpsons just celebrated its twentieth anniversary. I love the show, but haven't really watched it the past several years. It is one of those things I keep thinking I'll catch up with on DVD. Tonight I was flipping through the channels and happened upon a fairly recent episode that I hadn't seen before (I believe this episode, DeBarted, originally aired in 2008). It featured this funny exchange that really made me laugh:

 

Lisa sees Marge emptying tiny take-out packets of catsup into a catsup bottle. Marge explains that she does this with catsup and mustard to save money. Lisa asks, "Do you do it with relish?" Marge's reply? "No, I'm kind of embarrassed about it."

 

Clarinet

I think it was the end of third grade when I begged my parents to let me take clarinet lessons. I don't remember much about why I wanted to take the lessons, but I remember that it seemed desperately important to me at the time. There were ensuing arguments between my parents (there always were) about this topic. My dad's view was that it was whim, that I often had whims, and that I rarely showed much follow through. Didn't we remember what happened with little league, he asked my mother and me? Somehow though, my mother came through for me. She always did. I was allowed to take the lessons despite the cost and inconveniences.

 

My mother drove me to Chester, not the best of neighborhoods, to rent the clarinet. It seemed so far away (in reality it was about five miles down straight down the boulevard, not even a turn was needed). The clarinet cost twenty-five dollars to rent for the summer. That was a lot of dough in 1977.

 

The lessons took place at the high school, which seemed cool, scary, and mysterious all at once. Getting to the high school with the clarinet also involved a drive – again, my mother acquiesced. I don't remember what she did while I had the lessons with grumpy Mr. Hoffman, but I am guessing she waited in the car. Mr. Hoffman had stale coffee breath and was near retirement age. (He wound up being my seventh grade music teacher, and then he actually did retire.) He was likely giving lessons during the summer to earn a little extra cash. He didn't seem all that thrilled to be there. I was though, at least at first.

 

Practicing… well, my mom made it very clear that while she supported my endeavor, I would have to practice in the backyard. I tried. Mr. Booth, my next-door neighbor and pseudo grandfather, had a lot to say about my practicing in the yard. I was too young and too sensitive to understand his curmudgeonly ways were more about his love for me than his disdain for the noise I mad.

 

Reeds – you had to have reeds for playing the clarinet correctly. I doubt that they were expensive, but they were consumable and needed to be replaced. Apparently I wasn't too good at getting as much life out of a reed as most. It must've had something to do with an excess of saliva or something. Honestly, the reed situation was the first excuse I used for not wanting to play the clarinet. This happened pretty quickly after the first few lessons.

 

I didn't make it through the summer, I quit somewhere in the middle. Truth is I lasted a lot longer than I really wanted to… I tried to be stubborn and prove to my father (and myself) that the clarinet wasn't just a whim. I wanted to want to learn to play the clarinet. That is the truth. Another truth is that very shortly after beginning to learn I wanted to quit.

 

The clarinet experience has come up a lot over the past 33 or so years. Mostly it is my father who would bring it up although sometimes my mom would mention it too, if she was extraordinarily frustrated with me. More often though, I would think about it and chastise myself. Truth is I don't have enough follow-through.

 

Recently I made a pledge to try to be a better Facebook friend. Honestly, I did try, but it is still a huge struggle for me and something I just can't seem to derive must pleasure from. Around the same time I made a commitment (to myself) to blog. It didn't (doesn't!) matter if anyone read what I wrote, that isn't the point, not at all.

 

I can't say that I am a perfectionist. In the past I have had some perfectionist leanings, but I've been successful at letting them go (which isn't necessarily a good thing!). What I've found though, is that for me blogging is much like that damn clarinet in that I so often start but don't finish.

 

I have about fifteen pieces that I've started in the past month of two. Ideas that I thought sounded good… things that I composed in mind while showering or driving… items that I started and saved as Word documents, but never got around to completing.

 

What's up with that? I guess that is question that I need to really ask myself… a topic I need to be reflective with and explore. I will do that. I think it is a theme I should try to blog about.

 

Amosland Elementary School Spearheads Recycling Program

http://www.delcotimes.com/articles/2009/12/12/news/doc4b231d0f84c18857535208.txt

Worries

Unless you're from Australia, do us all a favor and please, don't use the phrase, 'no worries'. Okay?

Twitter Question

Why can't a person follow himself on Twitter?

An Oldie, but a Goodie!

Reasons Why the English Language is Hard to Learn:

1. The bandage was wound around the wound.

2. The farm was used to produce produce.

3. The dump was so full that it had to refuse refuse.

4. We must polish the Polish furniture.

5. He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6. The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7. Since there was no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

8. A bass was painted the head of the bass drum.

9. When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10. I did not object to the object.

11. The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12. There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13. They were too close to the door to close it.

14. The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15. A seamstress and a sewer fell down into the sewer line.

16. To help with the planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17. The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18. After a number of injections my jaw got number.

19. Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

20. I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

21. How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Let's face it, English is a crazy language! There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in a pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French Fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. If we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. Why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce, and hammers don't ham?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, two geese… So one moose, two meese?

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend, that you can comb through annals of history but not one single annal?

If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

Word of the Year

It is no secret that I love words and language, so it shouldn't be all that surprising that I am a little bit stoked about the New Oxford Dictionary Word of the Year. The word? Oh, a direct result of Facebook, it is 'unfriend'.

Unfriend is a verb meaning: "To remove someone as a 'friend' on a social networking site such as Facebook." I love the idea that new words are always making their way into our lexicon. In fact, my class just recently finished the book Frindle, by Andrew Clements. That novel, written for elementary school age kids, aptly illustrates the power of words and the fluidity of our language.

According to Clements, it takes approximately ten years before a new word makes its way into the dictionary. In the past few years words such as bootylicious, mcjob, evoo, and comb-over have all been added to the dictionary. Some of those words seem out-dated before the dictionary is even off of the printing press (here… printing press – how old school does THAT sound?).

The word unfriend probably isn't the kindest word; it doesn't conjure up great feelings. In fact, there is already an online debate about its use versus the use of the word defriend. Any way you look at it though, it seems appropriate that this year's word of the year is a reference to modern technology.

 

No Need to Alter the Ending

A kid recently let me know that her teacher (male) had asked the class what 'emo' was. He then did an image search on Google. Having looked at the pictures supplied the teacher apparently stated to his sixth grade class that all 'emos' were homosexual. I don't know about that. I am pretty sure that Chris Carrabba would likely be classified as both heterosexual and emo. In fact, Spin Magazine recently classified him as the 'king of emo-folk pain'.

Carrabba is, of course, the front man for the band Dashboard Confessional. The band recently released a new album titled, Alter the Ending. The album is available in two formats: the regular version and a deluxe version. The deluxe version, which is only an additional three dollars on iTunes, contains acoustic versions of all of the songs. I highly recommend spending the extra few bucks.

There has been talk that the band (and, more specifically, Mr. Carrabba) has been bit schizo as it ages. Some say that there is an identity crisis of sorts; a vacillation from adult contemporary to indie folk, etc. That isn't at all a bad thing. In fact, the bi-polar, hard to define quality is precisely what makes DC so interesting and different. Don't be fooled, even at their most over-produced DC still manages to hold on to enough indie-ism to keep their sound from blending into the vanilla.

When listening the Alter the Ending, conduct a little emo/indie experiment. Rather than listening to the album straight through, play the regular version of a song and follow it up with the acoustic version of the same song. Try that a few times. See if you can decide which version works best for your ears. Are you a 'depressed' DC fan or a 'manic' one? If you're like me, you'll find that you're both.

For Real

Library Books Returned 50 Years Late

A high school librarian in Phoenix says a former student at the school returned two overdue books checked out 51 years ago along with a $1,000 money order to cover the fines.

Camelback High School librarian Georgette Bordine says the two Audubon Society books checked out in 1959 and the money order were sent by someone who wanted to remain anonymous.

For Real?

School says eighth-grader's Bengal stripes and 'B' hairdo violates conduct code.

By Richard O Jones, Staff Writer

HAMILTON — An in-school suspension for a haircut has a Hamilton family wondering about school priorities and freedom of speech.

Dustin Reader, an eighth-grader at Garfield Middle School, received an in-school suspension Monday because of a haircut he received over the weekend in honor of the Cincinnati Bengals.

His barber, Chris Campbell of the B Street barbershop Razor Sharp, cut Bengal stripes on the sides of Reader's head and a large capital B on the back to resemble the team's helmet, and on Sunday, he colored his head and scalp to match for the game. The colors were washed out for school on Monday, according to his parents, but he barely got off his bicycle at Garfield when he was sent to his principal's office.

Because it's a discipline issue, school officials would not talk about it, but confirmed the suspension was for violating the school's code of conduct, which prohibits "unnaturally colored hair, extreme/distracting makeup, haircuts and hairstyles."

The code of conduct is reviewed and revised every year, said assistant superintendent Kathy Leist, who said a suspension "would be a building-level decision based on the code of conduct."

Reader's parents, Tina Wanamaker and James Reader, said they were aware of the rule, but didn't think Dustin's cut was out of line.

"He's had designs on his head before and no one said anything," said Wanamaker. Previously, he'd had a rose, a spiral and the word "LOST" carved into his hair. On the occasion of the "LOST" cut, he was told by the school to fix it, but he didn't get in trouble, they said.

"This is a way for him to express pride in the Bengals' putting up a winning season," said his father. "It's not racist, not drug-related, not gang-related or anything like that. It's about football."

The barber, too, is taken aback.

"I've put multiple designs in kids' heads that go to different Hamilton city schools and never has anyone come back to me and said they needed it cut out because they were being harassed in school," Campbell said.

The in-school suspension, which means that Dustin is in attendance and doing his work but remains in an isolated area away from other students, will remain in effect until the hair either grows out or he gets a different cut, school officials said, but the Readers are sticking to their guns. "I'm behind him 100 percent," said his father.

"We're not going to fix it," his mother said. "He's still going to school and I'm proud of him for that."

http://www.journal-news.com/news/hamilton-news/student-suspended-over-who-dey-haircut-397088.html

On Aging…

This is from an email that is probably as old as…well…email, but it is still pretty interesting.

Just in case you weren't feeling too old today:

The people who are starting college this fall were born in 1991.

They are too young to remember the space shuttle blowing up.

Their lifetime has always included AIDS.

The CD was introduced two years before they were born.

They have always had an answering machine.

They have always had cable.

Jay Leno has always been on the Tonight Show.

Popcorn has always been microwaved.

They never took a swim and thought about Jaws.

They don't know who Mork was or where he was from.

They never heard: 'Where's the Beef?', 'I'd walk a mile for a Camel ', or 'de plane Boss, de plane'.

McDonald's never came in Styrofoam containers.

They don't have a clue how to use a typewriter.

And… in the tradition of Dr. Seuss:

I cannot see

I cannot pee

I cannot chew

I cannot screw

Oh my God, what can I do?

My memory shrinks

My hearing stinks

No sense of smell

I look like hell

My mood is bad – can you tell?

My body's drooping

Have trouble pooping

The Golden Years

have come at last

The Golden Years

can kiss my ass.

Moby

Last year, thanks to Whitney Matheson at USA Today's Pop Candy (http://content.usatoday.com/communities/popcandy/index) I was able to ask Moby a question:

Years ago I saw Moby (he was/is great!) in Philadelphia. He did a lot of posing/posturing that seemed "Christ-like" -- you know, standing aloft with his arms out while bathed in an aura of light as Biblical-sounding music played. I was just wondering if he ever received any negative feedback about that artistic choice and how he reacted. -- Bob H. in Lone Pine, Calif.

Yeah, it's funny -- I know what he's talking about. I have this one song called Thousand. It starts at 130 beats per minute and it gets faster and faster and stops at 1,000 beats per minute. I was performing it, and I didn't know what to do, so I stood on top of my keyboard and spread my arms. It wasn't intended to be a Christ pose, it was just I didn't know what to do during that song. Necessity being the mother of invention, I stood on my keyboard and just stood there.

Then people started thinking it was some sort of Billy Budd or Christ pose. Hopefully I didn't offend anyone by accidentally assuming this Christ pose.

Holiday

"Veterans Day" Versus "Veterans' Day"

Tomorrow, November 11, is Veterans Day in the United States.

Although the government officially calls it Veterans Day, it is sometimes written as Veterans' Day, which is also a grammatically acceptable choice, or (the horror!) Veteran's Day. What's the difference?

Veterans Day -- Veterans is acting like an adjective, telling you what kind of day it is, just as tree in tree farm tells you what kind of farm it is.

Veterans' Day -- Veterans' is possessive, telling you it is the day of celebration for veterans.

Veteran's Day -- Veteran's is possessive, telling you it is the day of celebration for one veteran, which is clearly not accurate.

Veterans Day is capitalized because the names of all holidays are capitalized.

***Courtesy of Grammar Girl --- check her out: www.grammar.quickanddirtytips.com

SNL

Did you happen to catch Saturday's episode of SNL? Do you even watch SNL anymore? Does anyone? I think they do. I think a lot of people still watch, probably by recording it and watching it on Sunday morning (that is what I do). It seems that many people, however, are loathe to admit that they still like the sketch comedy grandpa.

For the past, oh I don't know, twenty-five years or so, it seems like it has been really en vogue to claim that SNL sucks. That is sort of like claiming to hate a band (they're sellouts!) as soon they start selling some music.

At any rate, I did watch (and enjoy) SNL this week. Taylor Swift pulled double-duty as both the host and the musical guest. Guess what, she's funny. I thought she did a great job from the monologue right up to the sign-off. Her parts the "Penelope" skit, the fake "Twighlight", and the too-close BFF were all inspired. What really made me laugh the most, I think, was her send-up of Kate Gosselin. Come to think of it, those parodies of "The View" are pretty friggin' hilarious.

Kristen Wiig, you rock! You are my new favorite. I already loved you, but your Greta Van Susteren really sealed the deal.

Taylor Swift, you're adorable. You're funny. You can write songs and sing them. You're graceful. I am impressed.

Cashiers

I was a cashier for many years in many different retail establishments. I was friendly (I think… I hope) and worked hard. Cashiering (and working with the public in any capacity) is a really hard job.

Lately I've noticed that many of the cashiers who have helped have been… well, annoying. It isn't that any of them were rude. In fact, it is more the opposite. These retail radicals seem hell-bent on making conversation and being overly friendly. Friendly is great. Making conversation is also a pretty good idea, I suppose.

What I don't like is when the clerks are way over the top or when they're determined to deliver commentary on the items I'm purchasing. Thank God I don't buy tampons… ice cream is bad enough.

How Weird Is It?

I have those little Halloween packs of Starburst Fruit Chews. You know the ones; they have two pieces in each little individual pack. Well, I really like eating them. What I like to do is open up several packs at once. Then, I sort the individual pieces by color. I begin eating them, one color/flavor at a time, starting with the biggest group and working my way down the what there are the least of (usually strawberry). Come to think of it, I do something similar when eating Skittles. I wonder how weird that is.

Five Things To Hate About Facebook

1. Reconnecting – Finding people from the past is definitely the best part of Facebook. However, it can also be one of the site's worst attributes. Some you don't want to see or hear from. Others you find and then quickly lose. Reconnecting on Facebook is really the quintessential double-edged sword.

2. Status Updates – After checking into Facebook for a bit I have to say that I might never be able to bring myself to use Twitter. Twitter, I suppose, is really another discussion. Facebook, however, is full of people updating their status all the time, with the lamest stuff imaginable. (I have to admit, I am guilty of this!) One of my "friends" (a doctor, no less!) updates many times a day with gems like "making Sammy a grilled cheese" and "getting ready for Grey's Anatomy". Is it even possible that there are people out there who enjoy reading such minutiae?

3. Quizzes, Pokes, etc. – I just don't get it. I don't get a lot of the extras that are included on Facebook. Okay, so some of the quizzes are okay, I suppose. But most of them are wastes of time akin to junk/chain emails. One of my friends created her own Brady Bunch quiz (complete with a litany of spelling and grammar errors) the bragged about how she had scored 100%. Of course she scored highly, she made up the questions. And what is with poking and 'super' poking? Give me a friggin' break!

4. Chat – You log onto Facebook ostensibly to send out a quick reply, etc. However, moments after you've 'arrived' five people are sending you instant messages (I won't even go into detail about how much I abhor those tiny little chat windows!) that interfere with your plans for brevity AND the task you're attempting. Now, I know that chat can be disabled, but jeez!

5. People's Refusal to Use 'Old School' Email – Facebook isn't accessible where I work. Apparently I am in the minority, as it seems the masses are using while on the job. Since I can't access it during the workday, I am much more inclined to communicate using email (which is quickly becoming passé, I know!)… However, so many of my Facebook 'friends' seem to refuse to use email that isn't connected to their beloved site. It is frustrating to see email (I feel like email is my child) become the Betamax of communication right in front of my eyes.

Four Things I Love About Facebook

Here they are, in no particular order:

1. Pictures – Okay, so I am a realist. I KNOW that I am far from photogenic. I hide from cameras. I've often pondered that if I were ever to be kidnapped or murdered in a sensational way the news stations would have to use my driver's license photo. You know what, I am totally okay with that.

However, I have to admit that I really enjoy looking at other people's photos on Facebook. I like seeing the kids and families of my friends. I really enjoy looking at pictures from when I was young. Picture sharing on Facebook is definitely one of the best benefits of 'social networking', in my opinion.

2. Reconnecting – Within a day of opening my account I was 'found' by lots of old friends. It is fun, and probably would never occur without Facebook, to be able to see what people from your past are up to.

Finding old crushes, co-workers, neighbors, classmates, and friends is definitely a huge kick. It is great to find out about people who were once really important to your life. It is also great to see whether the puzzle pieces still fit together or not. I have two examples:

Sally and I were as close as two pop music loving teens could be in the late 1980s/early 1990s. She and I had the same sensibilities. We laughed at all of the same stuff, spent inordinate amounts of time together and talked almost daily. In 2009 though, the pieces just don't fit. Turns out she's morphed into a Glenn Beck loving 'birther' who has apparently swallowed the Kool Aid I've spent my life trying to flee. Sad.

On the other hand there is Dane. We were great childhood friends in grade school. We never had a fight, but lost touch when we were about twelve or so. Well, through the magic that is Facebook we've again connected. Turns out we have much more in common now than we did as kids. We talk or email almost daily and I am honored to count him among my friends.

Facebook truly is a social network and one of the aspects I love most about the site is its ability to reconnect people who've lost touch.

3. Status Updates – Sometimes these are really clever and spark thought. I like when people update their status with quotes or offer interesting information about what they're doing or where they've been. Often the comments attached to someone's status are just as interesting and thought-provoking as the original post. Lately I've seen debates about swine flu, healthcare, and even Glee that have offered insight and made me think. I like to think and I love ideas that spark intelligent discussion.

4. Universality – Facebook is everywhere. That is absolutely appealing. A friend from Italy convinced me to begin 'Facebooking' (I still hate the verb form of the site) and through the site I've been able to network with 'friends' from all over. Maybe everyone doesn't Facebook (there's that verb again!) but it sure does seem like it!

Five Morrisey Songs I Want Played At My Funeral

Disclaimer – It will seem as if I only like Morrissey's Vauxhall and I album. That is not true. I like all of his albums (and The Smith's) but I have to admit that I do LOVE Vauxhall and I. But that's just me.

 

1. First of the Gang to Die – Morrissey

    In this scenario, I am Hector. I (in this scenario) am the romantic Robin Hood figure who stole everyone's heart away. Taking my hypothetical a bit farther (further?) I have decided that I am, of course, the first of my gang to die. The funeral is an overload of sadness and grief until this song is played (since this is my fantasy maybe Moz could actually play) sensing the irony (or is it coincidence) the mood quickly changes from despair to something approaching giddiness.

 

2. Interlude – Morrissey with Siouxsie Sioux

    Not too much mystery surrounding why I would choose this song. It is beautiful, ethereal, and melancholy. It could be used as either an entrance or an exit song, lol. Maybe this should play while the mourners, one at a time, approach the casket to lay a single flower atop.

 

3. The More You Ignore Me, the Closer I Get – Morrissey

    This song is not only a favorite, it is wholly appropriate. Consider that my death has either been caused by a crazed stalker or caused by someone defending him or herself against my crazed stalking…

 

4. Now My Heart Is Full – Morrissey

    He went through life (yeah, I'm rockin' the third-person) looking to fill the cavity called his heart. Once it was finally filled he left this world (not everyone's cavity runneth over!).    

 

5. Used to be a Sweet Boy – Morrissey

    Eventually he blossomed into a sweet man.

Five (Not So) Guilty Pleasures

Okay, so no one has ever accused me of having pleasures that were guilty. Most of things I love would be considered corny and cliché by most. However, I’ve always been pretty upfront and honest about the joys of loving pop culture and all of the snickers and eye-rolls that go with that. Here, in no particular order are five things that are making me a happier dude these days:

1. Kindle
Although to me it seemed like I waited a lifetime, I guess I did jump on the Kindle bandwagon pretty quickly. Almost a year ago Oprah did a show on the Kindle and offered a $50 discount to buyers (thanks, O!). I quickly fell in love. It is so unbelievably awesome to have an entire library with me at any given time. I quickly adapted to reading electronically and honestly don’t miss much of anything about ‘real’ books. My only regret is that I don’t have the 2.0, my less-than-a-year-old Kindle already looks antiquated.

2. Tyra Banks
Of course I knew of Tyra Banks. I never really gave her any thought though, know what I mean? She was pretty and stuff, but just sort of there. In my orbit she existed in much the same way that the Snuggie does, I know what it is and that some love it, but I just don’t have much of an opinion about it myself.
Then my mother started staying with me. My mother, who is basically so afraid of the remote control that she’ll leave one channel on all day… Well, I started arriving home from the work in the middle of The Tyra Banks Show.
At first I was a bit annoyed by the drama of the show. However, a funny thing started happening after watching bits of a few episodes. I started to get it (I don’t think I’ll ever be able to get my mom’s other favorite, Nancy Grace!). Tyra is speaking to young people. She is speaking, more specifically, to young girls. It might be loud and it might not be my language, but I applaud what she’s doing. On one episode I learned all about periods (not the punctuation) as Ms. Banks demystified a once taboo subject. On another show my jaw dropped as young teen girls spoke candidly about their sexual escapades and how those exploits connected directly with their self-esteem or lack of.
I hope that Tyra’s audience is young, because her show seems like a great resource… and not just for the females, either!

3. Twizzlers
I love to eat. However, sweets aren’t really my thing. Lately, though, I’ve found myself have a love affair with Twizzlers. I never really ate them in the past. Recently I found myself alone with some… and… well, there began the romance.

4. Music from Glee
I know that everyone loves this new show (well, everyone with the exception of all of the haters) and I like it too. What I like even more though, and this one is a bit more embarrassing to admit, are the songs. They are great for driving (alone) and having ‘concerts’ (again, alone). Especially fun are the recent ‘mashups’. Singing along to those songs is really… well, gleeful.

5. Tetris
When I bought my Nintendo DS (yeah, I bought one!) I really only had one person on my mind, Mario. However, Mario has been replaced. I just can’t stop playing Tetris. Yeah, you know: Tetris. It is just SO MUCH fun.

The Pledge

I’ll soon be turning forty. That is a tough one. Sometimes the days and hours seem to just drag. Damn though, the years seem to literally fly away. When I hear an older song from say, 1988, I am not only immediately transported to another place and time, but one that seems SO recent.

For the past few years I’ve been nudged many times by many people to join one of the social networking websites. Friends waxed poetic about MySpace, then Friendster, finally Facebook. I was absolutely against it. To me those sites were created for the young, hip, and savvy. I wasn’t interested in even exploring the possibility which goes a bit against my interest in tech and gadgets.

I stayed away for a long time. Then, thanks to a great friend who lives thousands of miles away, I finally succumbed. In the spring I opened a Facebook page. In so many ways it very quickly enriched my life. People found me. Yeah, they were looking. Who knew? Certainly not me.

Friends from high school were now back in my orbit on a daily basis, even though we now live on opposite coasts. One childhood friend, a guy I probably hadn’t spoken to since we were ten started messaging me and it was as if no time had passed at all. For those renewed relationships I owe a HUGE thank you to Facebook (and to Giada!).

The weird part of the story is that about ten seconds after opening my Facebook Page I became one of the world’s worst Facebookers. Yeah, I suck at it! In fact, I don’t even really like it all that much. (That is something I don’t think you are really supposed to admit out loud).

It seems like every time I log on I am quickly inundated with little chat windows. They pop up and intercept whatever I am trying to do. Oh, and they’re SO tiny. (There’s that getting old part again!) Often, I just want to get on, do something quick and log out. However, those little pop ups make it a cat and mouse game that I am rarely ready for.

Oh, and what about the people (you know who you are) who are constantly updating their status with ridiculousness? One chick whom I “friended” constantly updates with things like, “Making Timmy a grilled cheese”, “Sorting the socks”, etc. etc. What is up with that? Are you kidding me? Those little bites if idiocy make me want to never go anywhere near the ‘Twitterverse”

All of that having been said/written, I am here today to make a pledge. I vow, just a few weeks shy of my fourth decade on this planet, to become a better Facebooker. I promise to log on more. To be more positive. To find a real picture of myself that wasn’t some newspaper stunt. I will conquer my Facebook bigotry. That is my pledge!

Lucky

Sometimes I forget how lucky I am to live in such a beautiful place. Yesterday we got a little bit of rain, which is pretty rare. Most people out this way love rain. Me? Not so much.

Today it is warm and sunny again. I took the bottom picture while standing on my classroom porch. Nice.

This Never Happened When I Taught In the Inner-City

The office just told me that Jacob needed to leave school. His mom called to say that she needed his help rounding up his escaped turkey.

Super Heroes Today

Senior Year

IN YOUR SENIOR YEAR DID YOU...

1. Did you date someone from your school? No

2. Did you marry someone from your high school? No

3. Did you car pool to school? Most of my senior year I drove one of the many hoopties I was lucky enough to have.

4. What kind of car did you have? Hmmm… a hoopty VW square back that happened to be fluorescent blue… a hoopty Dodge Duster held together by wire coat hangers on which the passenger door flew open every time you turned a corner… oh, and a hoopty Opal (there were holes in the floor and you could see the street).

5. What kind of car do you have now? Honda Element

6. Its Friday night...where you at? Pizza Factory having a beer and pizza.

7. It is Friday night during HS... probably watching Dallas

8. What kind of job did you have? McDonald’s – every Sat. and Sun. from 5am to 1 pm. – would you like a fried apple pie with that?

9. What kind of job do you do now? I teach middle school.

10. Were you a party animal? Not even close.

11. Were you considered a flirt? More of a harasser.

12. Were you in band, orchestra, or choir? We called it chorus, but yeah.

13. Were you a nerd? Absolutely

14. Did you get suspended or expelled? No way!

15. Can you sing the fight song? I don’t know that there was one, but no.

16. Who was/were your favorite teacher(s)????? I really liked most all of my teachers. I have especially good memories of Mrs. Stefanowicz and Mr. Miller. All of my English teachers were a little weird, but really taught me a lot. I owe them.

17. Where did you sit during lunch? Probably with Michelle G. when I wasn’t hopping in a hoopty for a quick jaunt to Double Decker.

18. What was your school's full name? Ridley

19. When did you graduate? 1987

20. What was your school mascot? The politically incorrect Raider.

21. If you could go back and do it again, would you? That depends. I think I would have to say that I would, especially if I could go back and be more of who I am now and less of the priss I was then.

Happy Birthday, Theo!

Theodore Geisel was born on March 2nd. He would be turning 109 on Monday. We all know him better as Dr. Suess. (His father desperately wanted him to become a doctor… Geisel took the pseudonym as a nod to his dad.) Books like Horton Hears a Who, Green Eggs and Ham, and One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish are familiar to people world-wide.

His writing impacted me much more as an adult. Two pieces, in particular, will always hold a special place in my heart. Oh, the Places You’ll Go and The Sneetches mean a lot to me.

Oh, the Places You’ll Go, which has become a permanent fixture on the graduation gift circuit was published in 1990, just a year before Dr. Suess went to that Who-ville in the sky. It is probably one of his few books that was created specifically for an older audience.

College was tough for me. I was determined to finish, but it took longer than it should have. Like many others, I was strapped with the responsibility of paying my way through. In fact, I don’t think that I’ve felt such a sense of accomplishment as I did the day that I received my degree. Talk about self-esteem --- wow, an accomplishment sure works better than pats on the head, in my opinion!

In honor of my graduation I received two gifts that I cherish. My mother bought me a copy of the Suess book. She had not only written a lovely message inside the cover, she had also taken the time to put together an array of photos. My family has never been much of picture taking (and we’re all pretty far from photogenic!) so having a few important pictures arranged on the inside cover of such a special book made it all the more valuable to me. I’ll tell you, when you’re feeling a little blue or a little ‘less than’ – take a quick read at Oh, the Places You’ll Go. The book does more than offer a pick-me-up, I believe it offers inspiration.

The other gift, by the way, is a Spiderman tie.

The Sneetches, which often appears as part of a collection of stories, probably isn’t as long as most Dr. Suess books. The story features themes that are universal and, in my opinion, very important. Published in 1961, it tells the funny tale two sets of critters called Sneetches. One set is born with stars on their bellies and one set is born with plain bellies. Age old ‘the grass is always greener’ and ‘wanting what you can’t have’ themes are explored using the brand of rhyme and whimsy that Dr. Suess is known for. This story works on separate levels and is enjoyable to people of all ages. Using it with older kids is really great, as it works as a great jumping off point for discussions of race, equality, etc.

So, while I have enjoyed most all Dr. Suess’ books (and especially enjoy reading them aloud!) The Sneetches and Oh, the Places You’ll Go, remain my favorites.

Happy birthday, Theo! You’ve probably touched the lives of many more people than you would have if you’d listened to your dad and been a part of the medical community!

Socks

I have a love/hate relationship with socks.

I pretty much am in love with bare feet. I want my size thirteens free. If socially acceptable, I’d be barefoot (or maybe in flip flops) at all times (I guess I am more like George Costanza from Seinfeld than I thought --- remember when he wanted to be draped in velvet were it socially acceptable?)

So socks… yeah… I am very picky about buying socks. They have to be the right weight. Wool, and other heavier socks, worn with Birkenstocks aren’t a good look --- but what a great feel in the cold weather. However, most of the time I like very light-weight socks. The glitch comes in that oftentimes I’ve found that thinner socks aren’t sturdy enough. It blows chunks to wear a new pair of socks one time and then realize that you’ve already torn a hole in them or otherwise destroyed them.

On the other hand, thicker socks can create havoc. To me, there isn’t much worse than having on shoes and thick socks. That can create an epic proportion nightmare that lasts all day. I can’t even pretend to think clearly when my dogs are begging for freedom from their cloth prisons.

Lately I’ve found a great compromise. Perfectly weighted socks that make me (and my tootsies) so happy. I can’t remember the brand name, but they are sold at Target and, I believe, are the brand of that store. Yep, I love em.

Socks can be my friend.

81st Annual Academy Awards

I thought about live-blogging the Oscars. Yeah, I thought about it. For about ten minutes.

Instead, like so many others (tons more this year, I hope!) I just watched and enjoyed the telecast. The past few years I haven’t actually watched the telecast live. In fact, I’ve basically fast-forwarded through the past five or so years.

This year I watched live and was glad that I did. So, I am going to offer some knee-jerk reactions:

Actress In A Supporting Role – Penelope Cruz
I didn’t see the movie but I loved her speech.

Writing (Original Screenplay) – Milk
Great movie, great screenplay (and direction!), awesome speech!

Writing (Adapted Screenplay) – Slumdog Millionaire
Another one that probably can’t be argued against…makes me want to read the novel the movie is based on (Q&A)

Cinematography – Slumdog Millionaire
Again, I could hardly argue against it. This movie was amazingly filmed.

Actor In A Supporting Role – Heath Ledger
I haven’t seen the flick, but I’ve heard all of the hype. The odds were twenty-to-one on his winning. I loved 10 Things I Hate About You

Music (Score & Song) – Slumdog Millionaire
I knew there was a reason that I left the theater and went directly to purchase the soundtrack. The score was great, the song is a winner in my book!

Directing – Slumdog Millionaire
Danny Boyle is utterly amazing and always has been. Pairing him with this project was genius. However, didn’t he have a co-director or something like that?

Actress In A Leading Role – Kate Winslet
I felt like there was an embarrassment of riches in the main categories this year. Meryl almost can’t go wrong, but this was Kate’s year. She was A to the mazing, in my opinion. In a movie that made you think she created a woman who made you think and question even more… brilliant.

Actor In A Leading Role – Sean Penn
Sean Penn wasn’t even in this movie. Harvey Milk played Sean Penn playing Harvey Milk. In a night of great, thought-provoking speeches his was right up there. Way to go!

Best Picture – Slumdog Millionaire
I am very happy. I loved this movie. It is one that I’ll likely buy when the DVD is released. That having been said, I would’ve been just as happy if The Reader, Frost/Nixon, or Milk had won. (Sorry, didn’t see the Button boy flick)

Sidebar: Where were Gran Torino and Clint Eastwood? No recognition? That’s not cool.

Post Office

Living in a small town has many great benefits. Sometime I'll go on and on about why I love living where I do.

However, this is just a quick rant.

Living in rural America has a few disadvantages. One of the disadvantages is that you're very far from shopping, etc. Luckily, we live in an age of catalog and online shopping. (I don't know how people did it here before online and catalog shopping!) Another disadvantage is no door-to-door mail delivery. Yes, I am serious. Where I live one must have a post office box and pick up his or her mail at the post office (which makes said post office the town hub; fodder for another post)

Recently I ordered something online and even paid extra for expedited shipping. Online tracking allowed me to know ahead of time that my package would arrive today, Saturday. (Online tracking also really rocks!)

So, I made a point to go to the post office at precisely noon. (While the counter isn't open on Saturdays, packages are to be picked up between 11:30 and 1:00 pm) When I arrived there seemed to be no one working. In fact, I didn't have any mail in my box. I was annoyed. So... I stopped back a while later. At this point I did have the infamous yellow card in my box (alerting me that a package had arrived!) but no one was there to hand me my item. Now I have to wait until Monday.

Not the end of the world. Still... I am annoyed.

How Important Are Movies?

Used to be that when Oscar night rolled around I had viewed every (or almost every) movie that had been nominated in the major categories. I prided myself on keeping up with these things.

Well, times have changed. Movies aren’t all that accessible for me anymore. In fact, to see any movie I must make a lengthy trek. This year, I decided I would do just that.

First, with no drive involved (I love you, Netflix!) I watched Frozen River. What a great performance. Melissa Leo, I loved you on Homicide: Life On the Street, I heard you were great on All My Children – so I wasn’t at all surprised at how you hit it out of the park in this gem of a movie. Everyone should be renting this DVD.

A few days later I took a drive to see Slumdog Millionaire. Everything I'd heard was true. Do believe the hype!

I absolutely loved Slumdog Millionaire. What a fresh and innovative take on a classic story (two brothers each taking a different path due to their circumstances)… I thought the performances were great and the direction/cinematography were pretty flawless. I have been a Boyle fan for some time and was interested to find out how he shared the directing job (still don’t know enough about this). I also really liked Dev Patel. I’d just been watching him in his BBC series called Skins, which is also pretty amazing.

I thought it was weird when they finally kissed and Latika said something along the lines of, “I thought we’d only be together in death” I wanted to yell at the screen that they were --- Salim’s death!

Later that day I saw The Reader

I didn’t know a lot about the story, and I never read the book. This movie was definitely worth it. Kate W. is amazing. Much like Melissa Leo in Frozen River, she never falls into sentiment. I loved the story and was swept away more than I would’ve guessed. In fact, I probably wouldn’t have chosen to see it if I had heard a lot about the story. I am really bummed that I didn’t get to see Revolutionary Road, but I can easily say that I believe that Ms. Titanic earned her nomination and accolades. Like any good art, this movie leaves you thinking and asking tough questions.

A few days later I woke up and wanted more film. So, I drove back down south and took in three (!) more nominated flicks. I am so glad that I did!

First up was Milk. I knew the story and had seen some documentaries about Harvey Milk over the years. However, I was still blown away. Gus Vansant is pretty f-in amazing. Talk about being transported by the illusion (What, your high school drama teacher didn't use that phrase?)! Whoa mama, Gus puts you there. He does this great job of incorporating real footage while making you absolutely forget that his cast is acting. Sean Penn isn’t Sean Penn anymore (same for Emile Hirsch, Brolin, Cross, Pill, etc.). Even though we all know the ending going in, it doesn’t matter at all. This movie is really the whole package. I am probably naive (bigots never have any idea that they're bigoted, eh?) but I would like to think that watching this movie might make people think about what equality really means in our country.

Later on I viewed Gran Torino. This was definitely another exceptionally well done story. Eastwood should have been nominated for his performance. The story itself is great. This is another movie/performance that easily could’ve veered off into sentimentality (and, I guess, it does a bit) but plays it true to the characters. In fact, I felt like Gran Torino, The Reader, and Frozen River were all what real character studies should be. Gran Torino could easily have been another ‘hood movie, but it was so much more.

Speaking of character studies, I have a friend who claims that is why she loved The Wrestler so much. I disagreed with her. Yes, the performances in The Wrestler were great. I, however, found the story a bit disappointing. I guess I've come to expect a bit more from Darren Aronofsky. I think that maybe if he'd been the writer I wouldn't have found the story so predictable.

One move that wasn't at all predictable, in my opinion, was Doubt. Doubt is another must-see. Amazing performances that are heightened by great direction and cinematography. Again, a movie that you'll be thinking about long after your popcorn is gone.

Straight from Gran Torino I went to Frost/Nixon. Perfomances! Wow! Frank Langella is Nixon. How easy it would have been to imitate or caricaturize him (Oliver Platt does that well in the movie!) -- Langella becomes the president. It is a brilliant piece. The guy who plays Frost (I can’t think of the actor’s name) is also great. Like Milk, this film takes full advantage of a documentary style (though I don’t believe any real footage was used) to tell an engaging story. Patty McCormick plays Pat Nixon – I am sure it was the makeup, but boy does she look old! In my brain (also old and wrinkled!) she's still on that dock in the lightning storm!

All-in-all I am so glad that I spent ten hours or so driving to see these movies. I don’t envy any of the Academy voters – there is quite an embarrassment of riches out there. I wish I could’ve seen Revolutionary Road and The Visitor, but I guess I’ll have to wait for DVD on those.

Roses Are Red... Violets Are Blue... I'm...

I've always heard that friendships can be for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. It makes sense in a weird way. You know, some friendships are put in your path to teach you a lesson or help with something in your life. Those friendships may not endure but you're sure glad about them. Other friendships are fleeting; that can be sad. For someone nostalgic (I am too nostalgic myself) those friendships that don't endure can be really painful. As I grow older I am a lot more understanding and accepting that people grow in different directions, not all towards the sun like those time-lapse movies of flowers we watched in elementary school. Usually when a friendship ends it isn't with a bang or a whimper... just a strange nothingness.

The lifetime friendships are pretty strange too. Often there is a friend (maybe more for some lucky people) who has been there since the beginning and continues to be there. However, life isn’t always linear. Sometimes even that lifetime friend meanders in and out several times like a drunk driver heading towards a Denny’s.

I am lucky. I’ve recently been reunited with a friend from the past. There is a bit of euphoria when you find someone who has been missing for a while. That might be a little understated. I’ve been thoroughly thrilled to reconnect. I believe this friendship is one that exists for a reason and will last a lifetime. …makes me smile!